A Slap in the Face: Why Insults Hurt , And Why they Shouldn't - William B Irvine

"Insults are part of the fabric of daily life. But why do we insult
each other? Why do insults cause us such pain? Can we do anything to prevent or lessen this pain? Most importantly, how can we overcome our inclination to insult others?

In A Slap in the Face, William Irvine undertakes a wide-ranging investigation of insults, their history, the role they play in social relationships, and the science behind them.  Irvine considers the role insults play in our society: they can be used to cement relations, as when a woman playfully teases her husband, or to enforce a social hierarchy, as when a boss publicly berates an employee. He goes on to investigate the many ways society has tried to deal with insults-by adopting codes of politeness, for example, and outlawing hate speech-but concludes that the best way to deal with insults is to immunize ourselves against them: We need to transform ourselves in the manner recommended by Stoic philosophers. We should, more precisely, become insult pacifists, trying hard not to insult others and laughing off their attempts to insult us."

A very light hearted and humorous take on the meaning of insults as seen through the prism of the authors love of Stoic philosophy. Irvine  manages to succinctly make a case for getting off the social hierarchy treadmill. As he says, "People place great value on other people's opinions of them. Insults hurt so much because they are reminders that our social standing is not as high as we would like it to be." But what if we don't care about our social standing? What if we realize that social standing is an artificial construct? If we have chosen, and are confident, in the right values, insults can't harm us. Don't try to control things over which we have little or no control, such as other people's opinions of us. Spend time, instead, on choosing to do good and virtuous things. 

I found the latter parts of the book, which discuss responses to insults, much more interesting that the first part of the book, which categorizes the types of insults. I understand that, as a philosopher, it's important for him to cover all the bases, but I found the early section to be dry, bordering on irritatingly repetitive. The entire book is certainly not a deep dive, but is a good "pop-philosophy" book. An okay-ish introduction to the very amazing world of Stoic Philosophy and will hopefully get readers interested in further reading.

Age rating 14+ Understandable for a younger audience with occasionally mature content used as examples for the horror insults can wreak.